first chapter excerpt

Count It All Joy! The Story of Joy Ridderhof & Gospel Recordings, Inc. by Phyllis Thompson

First talking of thoughts of wishing suicide wasn't wrong to commit and then speaking of fear of giving speeches... "Preparing for examinations was almost equally alarming. She worried about them for weeks before hand. 'I suppose worrying goes with being conscientious,' she said to herself reassuringly. It was really quite a good quality. It was not so easy to find a justification for being irritable, however, especially with one's own mother, and for some reason Joy could not explain, there were times when her mother exasperated her. This was all wrong for a Christian, but try as she would the irritation continually cropped up in impatient actions or explosive remarks. It made her feel guilty and ashamed, and the only comfort she could find in that was that at least it proved she was neither indifferent nor hardened, a careless unrepentant backslider. Altogether, an underlying sense of anxiety was perhaps an indispensable adjunct to the Christian life. It might even be an evidence of sincerity, of an earnest desire to become the sort of person God expected one to be." ...(keep reading)... "It came as a shock therefore when the eminent preacher invited for a Victorious Life Conference at the church Joy attended asserted uncompromisingly, 'Worry is sin!' Joy had never heard such a definition of her permanent condition of mind before. More than anything else Dr. R. C. McQuilkin said in that opening address the simple pronouncement arrested her. That worry was sin, an offence against God as heinous as any crime man can commit was an entirely new thought. She had lived with worry so long that she had come to regard it vaguely as a sort of uncomfortable virtue. To throw it out, to be rid of it for ever was a prospect at once alluring and alarming. The question was not only whether it was possible, but whether it was right. Joy went home after that first meeting with her mind absorbed by what she had heard. The speaker's strong, melodious voice, the conviction with which he spoke, his reasoned arguments based on the Scriptures had all combined to grip her attention, but it was the promise of deliverance from worry that stirred her most deeply. Could it be true? If you trust you don't worry, if you worry you don't trust sounded logical, but was it possible to be scrupulous in doing your duty without being anxious about it?" ... "'Oh, I'm in such a dilemma!' and then, to her own amazement, 'And I can't even worry about it!' That week was the most significant of her life, and had a profound and lasting effect on her theology. The responsibility of man had always loomed large with her, and her Christian life had been lived mainly in dependence on her own efforts, but now the sovereignty of God loomed even larger. The power and the reliability of the Heavenly Father who loved her were what she was called upon to trust in. To doubt Him was unbelief, and unbelief was sin. She would sin no more. Faith in God should be her attitude, and praise to Him for His willingness and ability to bring good out of everything - including her own silly mistakes. The sense of freedom this brought was inexpressible, and with it came an overmastering desire to learn more about God had suddenly become so relevant to everyday life."

best best man speech

something like...

"joseph's first love has always been Jesus. everyone knows he loves Jesus more than anything. every year joseph just falls more and more in love with Jesus. now he loves sarah. his first love for Jesus hasn't changed. now he just gets to express his love for Jesus in a new way by loving sarah."

heeheehee

I just downloaded the "We Like Sheep" album to my iPod. I just couldn't help myself.

oh, dear...

My favorite Jane Austin novel is Persuasion. In fact, it is my third favorite fiction of all time. Anne, the main character, loves, loses, and dares to hope for love again. I like Persuasion because Austin beautifully and hysterically communicates the roller coaster of a woman's mind who is in love. It is very honest in portraying the female sex.

I have just finished reading Captain Wentworth's Diary, an attempt at telling the other side of the story. (I read Mr. Darcy's Diary during spring break.) This is supposedly the mindset of the male character who also loves, loses, and dares to hope for love again. Although not as engagingly written as Persuasion, I'm still happy I read it.

One note, however:

Towards the very end of the book (the same as in Persuasion) a conversation takes place where Anne is talking to another male character and does not know that Wentworth is able to hear. Part of the conversation goes something like this...

'We certainly do not forget you so soon as you forget us,' Anne told
him. 'It is, perhaps, our fate rather than our merit. We cannot help
ourselves. We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon
us. You are forced on exertion. You have always a profession,
pursuits, business of some sort or other, to take you back into the world
immediately, and continual occupation and change soon weaken impressions.'

Later, Wentworth, overcome with feelings upon hearing this topic of conversation, begins to write a letter to Anne saying..

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you
almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets
sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none
but you.

I just wonder what this book would have been like... if it had been written by an Adam rather than by an Amanda.

Cindy's Wedding Shower

Top 5 (for Becs & Heather)

Top 5

...things under $5 that I couldn't live without...
a Bible, a kleenex, finger nail clippers, toilet paper, & shampoo

...favorite Movies...
life is beautiful, the count of monte cristo, indiana jones, sahara, & nicholas nickelby

...baby names I love...
luke, paul, timothy, abraham, & mason grace

...songs I could listen to over and over again...
praise to the Lord by out of eden, isn't it love by andrew peterson, thy mercy by caedmon's call, mighty to save by laura story, & grace by laura story

...people who have influenced me in a positive way...
Jesus, jennie etta siemens, jennie rongish, saskia van leeuwen, & christian todd williams

...moments that changed my life forever...
salvation, leaving chs, going to tmc, chuuk, & ciu

...obsessions I currently have...
reading, playing ginny owen's song own me on the piano, getting a tan, zungie, & so you think you can dance

...places I would like to go...
scuba diving in la jolla cove, alaska, ukraine, italy, greece, & ecuador

...appliances or kitchen tools I couldn't live without...
stove, refrigerator, freezer, bowl, & frying pan

...people who I would like to see their top 5's...
emmy, laurie r., heather l., cindy l., & chris c.

Praise the Lord!!!

WAHOO!

It looks like I'll be teaching ESL summer classes at Converse International School of Languages on Broadway in downtown San Diego!

Yipee!!!

Christmas 2002 Journal Entries

Proverbs16: 9 "In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps."

We think we have the basics down so much of the time, but in reality we don’t. We gain so much knowledge of other theological issues, seemingly “more deep” theological issues but in reality we are still very lacking in even gaining all the truth in the basics of God’s plan. Do we recognize forgiveness? Do we recognize truly what Christ did for us when He came down to earth as fully human and still fully God? Do we recognize the importance of Christmas? Do we recognize the importance of the cross? The cross is the axle on which the rest of Christianity spins on. The cross is the most important thing in the history that has happened and that will happen, beyond the end of time. The cross will never be forgotten and we should never forget the cross.

I said I didn’t fully comprehend God’s forgiveness and although that is true I was using it as an excuse to not have my sins forgiven but to revel in my sin. My pride was such that I thought I had to be perfect. I wanted to do things my own way. My own pride and selfishness wanted the fact that anything good happens to be because of me. God needs it done His way and will get it done His way. Forgiveness came when I turned around and faced God, no strings attached.

I want the best in this life. I want God’s very best, not just better than what I think I want, but the ultimate. I want to change the world for Christ. I want to be more like Him daily. I want others, Christians and nonChristians alike, to see me and in seeing me, see Christ. I want huge things to happen because Christ is working in me, because I’m saying “yes yes yes” to everything He wants of me, because I’m living solely off of Him and nothing else.

(Now in the present, I don't think that I would word things in exactly the same way that I did then but I still find it incredibly interesting. Some of this suff I still wrestle with on almost a daily basis. I definitely feel like the Holy Spirit has given more grace, more wisdom, more enlightenment on certain issues. Praise God!)

book & testimony

I sit on an air mattress in the bedroom my brother had when we were growing up. The huge window on the south side of the 8x10 foot room presents flawless blue skies. Beautiful pictures line the shelves and walls. My sister’s photography captures her many worldwide mission trips. There are two framed paintings on tree bark that I purchased in Uganda in the summer of 2005 and beneath them is Betsy Killin’s prayer card reminding me to lift her up to our Lord this summer. …And, there are spears. Spears and a bow have been mounted at the top of the walls. They are from a tribe of people in Venezuela to whom some old missionary friends of ours brought Jesus. Definitely out of context in this American, Californian, San Diegian, upper class suburban home. But they remind me of a global reality. People need Jesus.

Some brief highlights of God’s workings: I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I did know that I never wanted to teach. Graduating from college automatically invited questions asking what the next step in my life would be. My urban ministry preparation class had aroused in me a compassion for the poor in inner-city Los Angeles. But after a month and a half in Uganda after graduation, God sent me home. Not easily, I learned to wait on God. And then He surprisingly asked me to go teach high school in Chuuk, Micronesia. Me? Teach? High school? You’ve got to be kidding me. I obeyed, wanting to follow the God that saved my soul but keeping in my mind that it was all preparation for my future ministry in downtown Los Angeles. That was the city God had given me a heart for, right? My initial commitment to Chuuk was only for six months. But God gave me an unbelievable love for my students. I committed for another year. When the time was coming to think about what God had next for me, I looked into a lot of different things. I was about to begin my application for San Diego State University’s Applied Linguistics Master’s Program when an alumna of CIU said that I should look into her alma mater. I did. I applied. I was accepted. I went. …I was proud of California. I was excited about the plans that I definitely thought God had worked out so beautifully in my life – finish CIU in two years and move to LA where I would teach university level ESL courses to pay off CIU, high school level ESL students who were my true heart’s desire, and other miscellaneous ESL classes through churches and various ministries. What a beautifully planned life! …A few months into my classes, someone commented in random conversation, “Katie, maybe God only gave you a heart for LA and ESL to bring you to CIU. Maybe God is going to show you other things for you to do now that He has you here. Don’t plan your life too tightly. God will do anything He wants.”

I knew that I would enjoy my linguistics classes. What I didn’t know is that I would work hard at them, be amazed at the course work, and just absolutely love it (okay, maybe I don’t love prepositions…) The day before a Wycliffe dinner theatre night, a friend off-handedly told me that she had an extra ticket. I was mesmerized the entire evening.

This summer I e-mailed some different people and asked for some good books to read. If I couldn’t go overseas this summer, I was determined to pray for the people that were (in fact, have my prayer life grow in every way) and read books that spurred me on to abide with Christ. Because of the array of books, for the first time in ten years I went to my church’s library and checked out two books. One of them quoted a missionary several times that was so heart-wrenching I thought I would look for his biography the next week. As I was scanning the biography section the word “linguist” popped out at me. The title? Called to Die. “Don’t know if I’m called to die,” I thought to myself. “I’ve never heard of this missionary.” Oh, well. I don’t have to pay to check it out. So I picked up the book and set about the rest of my day. Later that evening I began to read “The Story of American Linguist Chet Bitterman, Slain by Terrorists.” …I couldn’t put it down. Late last evening, I was reading about Chet’s senior year of high school. He was sitting across from his girlfriend talking about the future and said, “You know I’ll be going to Columbia Bible College next year.” I ran into my parents’ room, the book flailing in my hands. Linguist. CBC (now CIU, for those who didn’t know.) Later, Wycliffe Bible Translators and The Summer Institute of Linguistics. This afternoon, with tear-streaked cheeks, I finished the book.

“In the early morning darkness of January 19, 1981, seven armed terrorists burst into the SIL guest house in Bogota, Colombia. Herding the sleepy occupants together, they demanded the SIL director. He wasn’t there. The terrorists pointed to Chet Bitterman. ‘We’ll take you.’ The young father walked over to the couch and for a moment held baby Esther, who was crying. He kissed three-year-old Anna, turned to Brenda, and asked her to be calm for the girls’ sake. A gunman urged him into the rear office and he was gone.

In this, the authorized biography, the whole story of Chet’s kidnapping, his seven weeks in the hands of Colombian terrorists, and the final – and futile – negotiations for his life are set down in dramatic sequence.

It is the story of what happens when terrorism confronts Christianity. It is also the story of how God can use an ordinary person in an extraordinary way.

Yet another drama parallels the telling of the kidnapping by terrorist extremists: that drama is the narrative of Chet Bitterman’s life, the story of the winsome character who was an inspiration in life as well as in death. This is the story of Chet the adventurer, with the Tom-Sawyer knack for living; Chet the prankster, with his bag full of tricks in college; Chet the idealist, who struggled to feel adequate as a linguistics trainee; and Chet the man’s man, who joked with his abductors, even during his final days. Called to Die transcends the tragic end of Chet’s life story, however, as it focuses on the inspiring events that followed his death.” (The back of Called to Die, by Steve Estes.)

Of course God would use Chet Bitterman’s initial death to draw Colombians to Himself and to draw Christians everywhere to missions. But I wondered if Chet’s parents and his widow Brenda (who is now remarried, still with Wycliffe, and serving in PNG) would have ever guessed that Chet’s life would be a call to me over twenty five years later.

I still don’t know what the future holds. But I know who holds the future. Too cliché? I remember someone that I respected saying that when churches say that their goal is “to know Christ and make Him known” that it’s just too simplified and not as easy as that. I could never buy that. God’s not simple but I sure am. I went to a discussion group the other night with four other people that are covered in Christ’s righteousness and afterwards there was incomprehensible joy from abiding in Jesus, speaking truth, building each other up. I just want to abide with Jesus. I don’t want to be a missionary or a teacher or a lover of people for self-gain. I have nothing to gain but Jesus. But to share Jesus with people for God’s glory which involves my joy and theirs? What could be greater?

Maybe someday I will see tribal spears in their correct context. Maybe someday the people who hold spears like these will see the Bible in their own context. May Jesus be praised forever!

Please, Pray for Me

I have an interview next Wednesday for an ESL summer teaching position at Converse International School of Languages in downtown San Diego.

two new books

In the Grip of Grace, Max Lucado
Called to Die, Steve Estes
..............................................................

The Scarlet Thread, Francine Rivers - FINISHED
True Grit: Women Taking on the World, for God's Sake, Deborah Meroff (OM) - FINISHED
A Love Worth Giving, Max Lucado - FINISHED
Epicenter, Joel C. Rosenberg - in progress
Becoming A Woman of Prayer, Cynthia Heald - in progress
Bravehearts, Sharon Hersh - on hold

"A Love Worth Giving" by Max Lucado

I'm not quite finished but I'll be finished by tomorrow as I have to return it to the library and want to check out a different book.

This is my first Max Lucado book. And it was GREAT! I thoroughly enjoyed the simplicity, the word-pictures, the examples (especially admission of his own failure!), and the profound truths of God that were woven through it all. It was great. Lucado goes through the different facets of love that Paul lays out in the oh-so-familiar passage from 1st Corinthians 13. Each chapter defines and gives examples of what each facet means. Like I said - GREAT.

Here's a very short excerpt: (From the chapter regarding "Love ...always protects.)

"The Lord God made clothes from animal skins for the man and his wife and dressed them" (Gen. 3:21).

The mystery behind those words! Read them again, and try to envision the moment.

"The Lord God made clothes from animal skins for the man and his wife and dressed them."

That simple sentence suggests three powerful scenes.

Scene 1: God slays an animal. For the first time in the history of the earth, dirt is stained with blood. Innocent blood. The beast committed no sin. The creature did not deserve to die.

Adam and Eve did. The couple deserve to die, but they live. The animal deserves to live, but it dies. In scene 1, innocent blood is shed.

Scene 2: Clothing is made. The shaper of the stars now becomes a tailor.

And in Scene 3: God dresses them. "The Lord... dressed them."

Oh, for a glimpse of that moment. Adam and Eve are on their way out of the garden. They've been told to leave, but now God tells them to stop. "Those fig leaves," he says, shaking his head, "will never do." And he produces some clothing. Btu he doesn't throw the garments at their feet and tell them to get dressed. He dresses them himself. "Hold still, Adam. Let's see how this fits." As a mother would dress a toddler. As a father would zip up the jacket of a preschooler. God covers them. He protects them.

Love always protects.

Hasn't he done the same for us? We eat our share of forbidden fruit. We say what we shouldn't say. Go where we shouldn't go. Pluck fruit from trees we shouldn't touch.

And when we do, the door opens, and the shame tumbles in. And we hide. We sew fig leaves. Flimsy excuses. See-through justifications. We cover ourselves in good works and good deeds, but one gust of the wind of truth, and we are naked again - stark naked in our own failure.

So what does God do? Exactly what he did for our parents in the garden. He shed innocent blood. He offers the life of his Son. And from the scene of the sacrifice the Father takes a robe - not the skin of an animal - but the robe of righteousness. And does he throw it in our direction and tell us to shape up? No, he dresses us himself. He dresses us with himself. "You were all baptized into Christ, and so you were all clothed with Christ" (Gal. 3:26-27).

The robing is his work, not ours. Did you note the inactivity of Adam and Eve? They did nothing. Absolutely nothing. They didn't request the sacrifice; they didn't think of the sacrifice; they didn't even dress themselves. They were passive in the process. So are we. "You have been saved by grace through believing. You did not save yourselves; it was a gift from God. It was not the results of your own efforts, so you cannot brag about it. God has made us what we are" (Eph. 2:8-10).

We hide. He seeks. We bring sin. He brings a sacrifice. We try fig leaves. He brings the robe of righteousness. And we are left to sing the song of the prophet: "He has covered me with clothes of salvation and wrapped me with a coat of goodness, like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding, like a bride dressed in jewels" (Isa. 61:10).

Disneyland!

Women Who Love Jesus...

NEED TO READ THIS BOOK!

True Grit: Women Taking on the World, for God's Sake
Stories of Remarkable Courage, Deborah Meroff (Operation Mobilisation)